Words…-Rita Coolidge

I just heard the "F word" emanating from my daughter’s room. My sweet, little, seven year-old, bible-studying daughter. FYI, she is NOT a sailor, but apparently has a mouth like one!  (And she kisses her mother with it!)

I was working diligently on our taxes in the adjoining hallway when… 

Her: "F*ck!!"

Me: "What was that??!!!"

Her: "Darn…"

I tried REALLY hard not to start cracking up. Couldn't help it. I called her out into the hallway, and asked her again what she had said. "Darn", she insisted.

"Are you lying to your mommy right now?", I asked.

No reply.

"What did you really say?", I asked again.

"F*ck", she squeaked out, the tears starting to flow. That's when I really couldn't hold back the laughter.

"Just because I'm laughing, doesn't mean I'm not mad. I am. Not only because you are not allowed to use that word, but because you lied to me", I said.

I then sent her to sit on the couch and think of a “consequence” for her actions. I am not sure what she will come up with, but I AM sure it will be minor.

Maybe it’s genetic.  Lord knows my hottie hubby has been known to drop an “F bomb” on a near daily basis…and I am also to blame if substitute expletives like “flippin’”and  “freakin’” count.  I HAVE to go back to saying “sugar mama” in place of the “S” word.  Got lots of eye-rolls from my friends when I would say that. Crap. 

Oops, there’s another of my fave “bad words”.  Crud.  That’s better.

Any advice?

Here I Go Again...-Whitesnake

Yeah, you're probably thinking I'm gonna blog about doing the splits on the hood of my Jaguar, but alas, I am not as flexible as Tawny Kitaen (anymore).  Plus, I'd HATE to scratch
"Miss Kitty " (yes, I named my car).


The title of this blog post reflects a re-visit to the almighty "Weight Watchers" program.  This time, I'm going digital, baby!  I've got the program on my laptop, and the app on my Iphone AND my Ipad!! Short of some WW representative following me around, watching what I ingest, I am going to have to watch my intake.  There will be NO ESCAPING to Krispy Kreme!    I have entered all the pertinent information, and with my last hurrah of "Hoovering" my last box of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, I shall embark on this mission. Again.   


It's worked really well for me in the past...I am hopeful.  I discovered today that my fave Starbucks libation carries a VERY high point value of 7!  I was downing 3-5 of these A DAY!!!!  Not only will I save a lot of moolah by not drinking them (as often), I am hoping the pounds will hit the highway.


I tried the "GM" diet (Google it!), which was effective, and was on "Atkins" for a time (also effective), but I fell away from the routine.  On Weight Watchers, you can eat ANYTHING.  You just can't supercede your allotted points for the week, or it won't work.  It will.  I am on a mission!


My friend  is planning a weekend getaway at a glorious spa resort in May, and I would like to be in great shape by then.  Good luck, me.  Plus, BlogHer is coming up in August in NYC!


What diets have worked for you?

Gone...-Montgomery Gentry

I don't know about you, but I get a crazy, weird feeling, somewhat akin to a sense of accomplishment, when I use up the last bit of a product that I have purchased. 

It could be a box of cereal, a can of Pledge, whatever.  I really look forward to getting that final bit used up.  I love the feeling of tossing the plastic jug of Tide in the recycle bin after getting all of the detergent out.  And I mean ALL!!! 

Knowing that the jug has just been upside down for three days,  I carefully remove the lid, and watch as the last bit of liquid drains into the washing machine.  But, that's not the last of this process.  I then MUST fill the jug up a bit with some water, and shake the HECK out of the jug, to be SURE that I have gotten every last bit possible out of the container, and then pour the foamy froth into the waiting load of laundry.  Heaven! 

I undergo this draining process with most all liquids of the like...shampoo, conditioner...it's bizarre.  My hottie hubby says his mother does the same thing.  Huh. 

Two weeks ago, I swear I was on a ROLL!!!!  I must have used the last bits of at least 20 products!  I was inspired to clean out my kitchen cabinets and refridgerator!

 I am sad when I have to buy a new "whatever" to replace the used one...for I know the process will just start all over again.  I will wait, eagerly eyeing the declining frosted flakes level as my daughter's eat their breakfast... the last crumbs will become my Yorkie's "treat". I love recycling the plastic bag liner, and collapsing and recycling the box.   The feelings that accompany that...well,...as "Tony the Tiger" says..."They're GR-R-REAT!""   

Last (THIS!) Friday Night...-Katy Perry



Katy at the Grammys...not my pic.

Since I previously used "The Final Countdown" by Europe for the title of my "pre-BlogHer" post LAST year, I am paying homage to an upcoming "model" of mine, Katy Perry. 

Yes, folks, the rumors are all true.  I will be shooting Katy Perry (THE Katy Perry), a.k.a. the wife of Russell Brand (a.k.a. Mr. Katy Perry), a.k.a. owner of best cleavage ever (according to my hottie hubby).  Just a few days post BlogHer, she will be performing in my beloved San Diego, and I will be her official concert photographer that night.  (Thank you, EH!) So, in her honor, my pre-BlogHer post will feature the titles of her more popular songs that I know, and can use without embarassing repercussions.
My E.T.A. at Blogher, is going to be as close to the 8AM breakfast as I can get on Friday morning.  I am hitching a ride with my roomie this year, Melissa, of "Melissa Likes To Eat" fame.  Yes, THE Melissa. 



I doubt our arrival will be heralded by FIREWORKs, since it is in the daytime, and they wouldn't really show up, anyway, but we are super excited, nevertheless!  It's Melissa's first BlogHer, and as a three-time veteran, I am happy to show her the fastest route to the bar best parties to attend ropes.


I jokingly wished for BlogHer 2011 to be held in San Diego at the 2010 convention in New York last year!  Be careful what you wish for!  Now ALL the female bloggers attending are going to be CALIFORNIA GURLS. Yes, that's the way it is spelled.  I Googled.


I was HOT AND COLD about even attending this year, since my roomie for the past two years bailed.  I am still very upset. Very, very upset. Sue. Happy Hour Sue.  Please feel free to visit her blog, www.HappyMealsandHappyHour.blogspot.com and give her some crap! Next year, no excuses!!


Cute blue dress, huh? 


 Luckily, one of my best friends and neighbor, whom I sort of got into blogging (yes, I am taking credit, here...her blog www.MelissaLikesto Eat.com is delish!) was planning on attending, so now we are roomies.  The hotel is a mere 35 minutes from our homes, but that's 35 minutes away from the house and kids for two days!  Freedom with a bay view, and free parking! And a mini-bar. 

In preparation, I  printed, then blinged, my blog logo on two t-shirts (one for each day).  I also printed up my "business" cards, replete with a totally photoshopped picture of myself on it.  That's so after the convention is over, bloggers I give my card to can remember what I wish I looked like...a TEENAGE DREAM. OK, more like their mother. Just gotta go get my spray tan, bleach my teeth, get my nails done, and lose 15 lbs. by Thursday.  No problem.

Esquire Magazine owns this amazing pic...wish I had shot it!

If all goes well, I will post some pix during the event.  There should be some killer photo-opps, as my roomie and I are ready to party!!! I just hope I don't find myself WAKING UP IN VEGAS! 


Stay tuned... 

The Tide Is High...-Blondie

Had I known this was going to happen, I would have built an ark moved my nicer shoes up on a shelf!  Crap!


I came home yesterday to a FLOOD in my kitchen and family room.  Ok, not a "REAL" flood, like the ones that carry away homes, but the kind that happens when the filter in your refridgerator decides to STOP taking impurities out of your "through the door" water and ice cubes, and start spewing H2O throughout your home.


Thank GOD I didn't decide to run "just a few more errands" before heading home! 


I pulled into the garage after letting my girls get out of the car in the driveway.  They always run ahead into the house to let the dog out, and my little one helps me guide the car all the way up to the "I've hit it before" treadmill at the front of the garage.  She's really good at getting me within centimeters of another trip to the body shop! 


 As I park and check the car for fast food remnants that need to be hidden from Daddy taken out of the car, I hear my older daughter screaming!  I run in, only to find "Lake Sullivan" in our kitchen and family room!  I can see the refridgerator filter is the source, and after trying to replace it, unsuccessfully, I try to remember where the house water shut-off valve is.  Also, unsuccessfully. 


I dial my friend in hopes her "property manager" husband can help...I can't reach him on his cell.  My brain swims.  I run out side, only to realize that I am attempting to turn off the water to all our yard sprinklers.  That won't help.  I finally recall the location of the house water valve, and shut it off.  Whew!  Now to address the pond.


You never know how many towels you have in your house until you have a flood.  I have way too many.  I kind of knew this, and I SWEAR, three days ago, almost donated half of them to a local animal rescue center.  Thank GOD I waited!  Those doggies will just have to wait until the 9 towel-filled loads of laundry are done.


So I THINK I am successful in sopping up all the water, when my little one tells me that the guest bathroom (on the other side of a wall and past a hall closet) is also "full of water".  And, she's right.  ARGH!  Not only that, the water had made it under the stairway into my master bedroom closet!  NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 


Squish, squish...the water ran over my toes as I sloshed into my closet barefoot.  It's a sickening feeling.  I said a prayer, got the yellow pages out, and landed on a colorful ad of a flood restoration company that is listed with the Better Business Bureau.  Bueno.  Alex and Damon and crew show up within the hour, and get to work.  They reassure me that everything will be fine, but I am distraught. 

Thank you to www.clip-art-for-free.blogspot.com for the awesome graphic! 

To be continued...